Wednesday, November 25, 2009

It doesn't work.

I can't stop loving you. I listen as the sun sets heavily on my soul. Veiling the love that once prevailed. When will it rise again? Shadows burn holes into dripping eyes. Darkness tears through deadened veins. Hollow and empty. Love once alive, lies torn and defeated. Masked with a smile soiled in despair. I can't stop loving you.

I probably don't deserve my ex girlfriend back after what I did. But she is my everything and I wish she would come back to me. Every day goes by filled with thoughts of her. How we were. The good days. They're gone. What can I do but move on? I have but it doesn't work. I can never hate you, I just wish you loved me as much as I love you.

Do you cares?

It's gone. What's gone? My mind? Soul? No, I'm fine. Not really. Deep inside, something is missing. The love and tender kissing. Now all I do is talk to myself in the mirror, with my reflection. My heart is dead. Soon it will make a resurrection. Once the wounds heal and I'm loved for real. A type of love I can feel but nobody loves me. Nobody cares. Nobody loves me. That nobody is me. I can't love myself because no one does. I'm all alone and no longer what I once was. But the only thing that keeps me alive is knowing that the next day, it might all change for the best and that "nobody" becomes somebody.

Time to move on.

Wishing you felt the same way, having to carry on each day. Trying to except your change of heart. I never knew you'd tear mine apart. I could satisfy your needs and help you reach your goals and dreams. But just because I want us together, doesn’t mean I will wait forever. You'll be the love I never had and I believe that we are meant to be. But obviously you cannot see. So I must maintain my pain and simply move on and face the fact that your feelings are gone. Thanks for everything.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

My life without you.

A sunset without a sun is no sunset at all. A life without love is no life at all. A rainbow without colors is no rainbow at all. And heart without feelings is no human at all. All these things need something to be, either a sun or a person or a crayon. If only to create what nature said was meant to be.

A sunset makes us feel as though the world has been born again. A life with love lets us know it's worth to let someone in. A rainbow with colors thats a moment frozen in time, to be grateful for all that is beautiful and feel all the glory inside. A heart that has feelings, well that would be me. For I love just the thought of you and hope you feel the same for me.

Life without our love, is an emptiness I'm not sure I wish to face. Because I know that time will never be able to erase. I wish our love was as simple as a sunset, ready to be born again. But I know in truth love only comes from within. So I'll keep watching for my sunset, and looking for that rainbow to shine someday. Then one day maybe our love will find its way again.

Ini hidup saya.

Kadang-kadang orang tak tahu saya sedang sedih. Orang akan lihat saya ketawa dan gembira setiap hari yang saya lalui. Tapi dalam hati, tak ada seorang pun yang tahu. Saya menangis sendiri dan saya ketawa sendiri. Semuanya sendiri dan saya tak perlukan orang lain. Betul ke saya tak memerlukan orang lain dalam hidup saya? Betul ke apa yang saya buat?

Tak semua perkara saya harus kongsi dengan orang lain walaupun rakan baik saya sendiri. Tapi semua orang kata, apa guna ada rakan kalau tak boleh kongsi suka dan duka bersama. Tapi kadang-kadang saya memerlukan sedikit ruang dan masa untuk diri saya sendiri. Saya suka menyendiri.

Apabila saya sedih, saya tak perlu tunjukkan kesedihan yang saya rasa dan alami. Sebab itulah sesetengah orang menggunakan diari untuk mengungkapkan isi hati yang mereka tanggung selama ini.

Bagi saya blog adalah tempat saya mengungkap segalanya. Ada kalanya saya menangis, saya gembira, sedih dan macam-macam perasaan yang saya rasa, yang tak boleh saya luahkan pada rakan dan orang lain, saya akan luahkan kepada blog. Orang tak kenal dengan mendalam siapa saya. Orang tak tahu sejarah silam saya. Jadi, orang akan bagi pendapat, tanpa mengenali saya.

Bukankah bagus, jika hidup di dunia ini, seperti blog. Sesiapa sahaja yang saya kenali atau tidak, akan menolong apa yang termampu, tanpa memikirkan siapa saya.

That's what I'll do.

I sometimes feel my heart will burst from wanting you so much. I can't explain in words of how I long to feel your touch. There is no way I can convey this emptiness inside. That seems to tear my soul to shreds as time goes swiftly by.

If I could merely hold you near for just a little while. If I could simply talk with you or only see you smile. To have you look into my eyes and wait to hear you say. Something that would help me to take this pain away.

If I have to wait forever, I guess that's what I'll do. For me, it will be worth it to finally be with you.

My last wish.

If I only had one wish, it would be for you and me to be together forever, because when we are together I feel loved but i've never felt this kind of love before. It's like when I hear your voice it puts a smile on my face. When I see your face it brings tears to my eyes, not sad tears, but happy tears and when I see your face, it reminds me how much I love you and how much I realy do care for you. But most of all it reminds me of how much I want us to be together forever.

Always love you.

I will always love you, no matter what becomes of you and me. For a love like this could never die, but last for all eternity. Sometimes things don't work out, the way we would like them to. And even if that should happen with us, it will never change, my love for you.

For you have touched my heart, in so many places that I never even knew. Nothing could now ever begin to compare, to the love that I have found with you. No amount of time could ever, make me forget how I feel about you right now.

I could never stop loving you, even if I wanted to, as I just simply, don't know how.