Saturday, October 24, 2009

I kept telling myself.

There was a time when I thought you were for me. I saw no flaws in my choice. I guess I didn't see. You didn't treat me nicely despite how I treated you. I cared for you, I loved you and that you even knew. I kept telling myself that you could change your ways. But you proved me wrong every single day.

Suddenly its all black, I can't remember and I wake up curled up under my cover.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Lying to forget.

This lie's become a part of me. For months, I've played this game. Acting like it doesn't hurt. Ignoring what's inside of me. Pretending I've moved on. Like the feelings for her are somehow gone. Spending each and every day with happiness and laughs. Forgetting all our memories.

But last night when I dream of her for the first time since she left, my heart stopped for a moment. I couldn't catch my breath. When suddenly it hit me as the tears started to flow. That even after all this time. I just can't let her go.

I learn to be strong.

Words of wisdom come to my ears, telling me what I know in my heart but never wanted to hear. With the truth finally said and out in the open for me to plainly see. I wonder why I can love so deeply but never had that love returned back to me. I confessed the feelings that I held inside for so long. But with his soft-hearted rejection, I realize I have to be strong.

With tears that want to flow from my eyes, I feel that my heart, along with my composure, slowly dies. While this dramatic side is showing through with my ability to question and reason. I think I may have found something in me that I can believe in.

Love hurts. That's what they all say. But I will love again when all this pain and sorrow goes away. So I sit and think of all the things and I realize that nothing very important has been lost.Instead, a learning experience has come from all this. I've learned that hardly anything is more important than my happiness.

Always on my mind.

Sitting alone in the dark. I can still feel the marks even though they're gone. I sit and think of all the days that I spent with you. I wonder when you'll come again. I really really do. I silently laugh and silently cry when I think of how all this started. I hope we won't but we might soon be parting.

Come over, have some fun and don't let the good times be done. I think of you every day and every night. You're always the main thing on my mind.

I do believe.

Love is like a lump of gold, hard to get, and hard to hold. Of all the girls i've ever met, You're the one i can't forget. I do believe that God above, created you for me to love. He chose you from all the rest, Because he knew i would love you best.




YO LA TENGO - Tears Are In Your Eyes

You tell me summer's here
And the time is wrong
You tell me winter's here
And your days are getting long

Tears are in your eyes
Tonight

You tell me that you haven't slept in days
You tell me sleeping only makes your tired anyway

Tears are in your eyes
Tonight
Tears are in your eyes
Every night

Although you don't beleive me, you are strong
Darkness always turns into the dawn
And you won't even remember this for long
When it ends alright

Please tell me how you know tomorrow staring at your shoes

Tears are in your eyes
Every night
Tears are in your eyes
Every night
Tears are in your eyes
Tonight

I'm hoping you'll understand.

I remember how you held me, in your arms so tight. How you'd sweet talk me, over the phone at night. I remember when i saw you, for the very first time. You said hello, and oh how i wanted you to be mine. I remember how i was all yours, as you liked to say, now i just wonder. Why did it go away?

I remember the happiest that you brought with every hug a kiss, that is the something that i will mostly miss. I remember now that your happy, happy with your friends. Though im not because im not happy unless we're together.

I remember when i messed up, cause i couldn't see. My heart broke when i lost you, when you were falling in love with me. I remember everything you did, everything you do, the truth is i remember you. I miss you and i love you.