I kept telling myself.

There was a time when I thought you were for me. I saw no flaws in my choice. I guess I didn't see. You didn't treat me nicely despite how I treated you. I cared for you, I loved you and that you even knew. I kept telling myself that you could change your ways. But you proved me wrong every single day.

Suddenly its all black, I can't remember and I wake up curled up under my cover.

Lying to forget.

This lie's become a part of me. For months, I've played this game. Acting like it doesn't hurt. Ignoring what's inside of me. Pretending I've moved on. Like the feelings for her are somehow gone. Spending each and every day with happiness and laughs. Forgetting all our memories.

But last night when I dream of her for the first time since she left, my heart stopped for a moment. I couldn't catch my breath. When suddenly it hit me as the tears started to flow. That even after all this time. I just can't let her go.

I learn to be strong.

Words of wisdom come to my ears, telling me what I know in my heart but never wanted to hear. With the truth finally said and out in the open for me to plainly see. I wonder why I can love so deeply but never had that love returned back to me. I confessed the feelings that I held inside for so long. But with his soft-hearted rejection, I realize I have to be strong.

With tears that want to flow from my eyes, I feel that my heart, along with my composure, slowly dies. While this dramatic side is showing through with my ability to question and reason. I think I may have found something in me that I can believe in.

Love hurts. That's what they all say. But I will love again when all this pain and sorrow goes away. So I sit and think of all the things and I realize that nothing very important has been lost.Instead, a learning experience has come from all this. I've learned that hardly anything is more important than my happiness.

Always on my mind.

Sitting alone in the dark. I can still feel the marks even though they're gone. I sit and think of all the days that I spent with you. I wonder when you'll come again. I really really do. I silently laugh and silently cry when I think of how all this started. I hope we won't but we might soon be parting.

Come over, have some fun and don't let the good times be done. I think of you every day and every night. You're always the main thing on my mind.

I do believe.

Love is like a lump of gold, hard to get, and hard to hold. Of all the girls i've ever met, You're the one i can't forget. I do believe that God above, created you for me to love. He chose you from all the rest, Because he knew i would love you best.

YO LA TENGO - Tears Are In Your Eyes

You tell me summer's here
And the time is wrong
You tell me winter's here
And your days are getting long

Tears are in your eyes
Tonight

You tell me that you haven't slept in days
You tell me sleeping only makes your tired anyway

Tears are in your eyes
Tonight
Tears are in your eyes
Every night

Although you don't beleive me, you are strong
Darkness always turns into the dawn
And you won't even remember this for long
When it ends alright

Please tell me how you know tomorrow staring at your shoes

Tears are in your eyes
Every night
Tears are in your eyes
Every night
Tears are in your eyes
Tonight

I'm hoping you'll understand.

I remember how you held me, in your arms so tight. How you'd sweet talk me, over the phone at night. I remember when i saw you, for the very first time. You said hello, and oh how i wanted you to be mine. I remember how i was all yours, as you liked to say, now i just wonder. Why did it go away?

I remember the happiest that you brought with every hug a kiss, that is the something that i will mostly miss. I remember now that your happy, happy with your friends. Though im not because im not happy unless we're together.

I remember when i messed up, cause i couldn't see. My heart broke when i lost you, when you were falling in love with me. I remember everything you did, everything you do, the truth is i remember you. I miss you and i love you.

I pray to god.

If I hold my hand, would i change where you're standing now? Just come back to me. Leave all you've found that's keeping your heart on the ground. Just come back to me. So afraid for love to come around your heart again when it's the only thing you need. Just come back to me.

Calling out your name. Wishing you could do the same. Just come back to me. Whatever it takes i will wait until my dying day. Just come back to me. This is my only hope that the love will not let me go. I will find its way back into your life. So i will not close my eyes until i see you by my side loving me tonight.

If i hold out my hand, would it change where you're standing now? Just come back to me!

True love is hard to find.

I don't really want to say goodbye. I don't really want to leave you. But now I have to go away. Stay away from you forever. What we had was something special. Deep down from our hearts. But now I have to go away. And leave you from my heart. I'm happy when you're happy. You're the one in my soul.

Moment made my day.

Do i have to get out of bed? I don't mind college. Really i don't. But i don't want to go today, not for college at least. All i want to do is see you. You were on my mind all weekend long. I guess I'll say it, as long as it's true. Everything i did reminded me of you.

I looked up at your face. Your eyes sad, but your lips in a slight smile. it looked like you wanted me to say something, or braced for laughter. I wrap my arms around your neck, but I forgot my backpack was on. There was nowhere else for your hands to go but my shoulders. We rocked slightly, never wanting to let go. But unfortunately this moment must end.

We break apart from each other, after what seemed like 5 minutes. The face you gave me, I can't explain it. Your eyes filled with emotion and love, perhaps? Your newly straight, white teeth gleamed at me. From under your soft lips. Just thinking about that moment, gives me butterflies that never disperse. You sigh a nice sigh, and i just smile and back away. That moment made my day. But now I can't get you out of my head.

Good-bye now.

With out you to complete me, with out you to go on. Life feels to me, like the saddest sung song. Days go by with out you, yet nothings getting easy. Everyone says it will, but that feels so out of reach. Every single night when I lay my head to sleep, I pray to God ill wake up to you lying next to me. Is this all a dream? I can’t believe its true. Do I have to live my life without the presence of you? What happen to the good memories that were supposed to keep us tight? What happen to the kiss you gave me before you said good night? Maybe that kiss now, belongs to someone else. Maybe you kiss no one and just lay there by yourself. However you live your life now, it was your choice to go on. You put yourself out there and left me all alone. I never saw this coming. Is it easy for you? As I sit here thinking now, what else could I do? Here’s my chance to be single to do all I wanted to, but nothing feels the same. All I have now is my new life without you. And I hope this makes you happy, even if I’m not. You only have one life to live and you have to live it how you want. I always thought we’d be together, despite of our rough times. I surely thought forever, I’d always call you mine. But you don’t belong to me now. You belong to the world. I hope you find all your looking for, that you didn’t find in this boy. I have a lot of love for you, although it didn’t seem to show. Maybe if we talked about it, you wouldn’t have to go. Ill always wonder what would have happened, had we both tried a little more. But I can’t think of that now, that’s not what memories are for. I’ll think of the good times and how you always made me smile. And even though it wasn’t enough for you, those are memories of mine. I’ll look at all the photos of us and remember how things used to be. I just hope that you are happy as I was, even if it does means without me. I know ill always think of you, in the forever time to come. Life will be a different place, where you and I aren’t one. So I’ll just say good-bye now, which is all that’s left to say. I really do hope you’re happy, since you wanted it this way. Thanks for everythings.

CAT POWER - Crying, Waiting, Hoping

CAT POWER - Crying, Waiting, Hoping

Crying, waiting, hoping
That you'll come back to the one you love
Think about it all the time

I was a crying
And I was a waiting
And I stopped hoping
That you'll come back to me

And if you don't come back
We will be a crying
We'll be a waiting
And maybe we'll all stop hoping
That you'll come back
To the one you love

Then you will be a crying
You'll be a waiting
And maybe you'll stop hoping
That we come back to the

No more crying
No more waiting
No more hoping
That you come back to me